Translated Libyan Jokes

An Egyptian villager (Saidi ) built a mosque,
when he saw crowds of people coming to it he turned
it into a restaurant.
صعيدي بني جامع....لما شاف الزحمة ...قلبه مطعم
( Saidi villagers in Egypt are a subject of jokes in most of the arab countries )

A man carrying a gas (butane) cylinder for refill
He asked his wife to pray for him.
She said "May God open it in your face".
واحد رافع انبوبة غاز ...قال لمرته ادعيلي....قالتله ان شاء الله ربي يفتحها في وجهك
(It here refers to both the fortunes and the gas cylinder)

A fasting Egyptian villager called the local radio program
"request a tune" When asked what he wants to hear.
He said the meghrib prayer call.
صعيدي صايم اتصل ببرنامج مايطلبه المستمعون....قالوله شن تحب تسمع
قاللهم...لو ممكن مقطع من اذان المغرب
(Muslims break their fast at the Meghrib prayer call at sunset)

A young man told his finacee that he does not have a Mercedes or a villa
and a yacht like his friend Mahmood but he loves her.
She replied:"I love you too but tell more about your friend Mahmood"
واحد قال لخطيبته: ماعنديش سيارة مرسيدس ويخت وفيلا زي صديقي محمود بس بس احبك
قالتله :حتى انا احبك .....بس احكيلي اكثر على محمود

A dying man told his son: "Don't tell people that I died of cancer
"tell them that I died of aids". His son asked "but why daddy?".
"So that nobody remarries your mom" answered the dying man.
واحد بيموت قال لولده ما تقولش بوي مات بالسرطان قول مات بالايدز
الولد قاله اعلاش يابوي...قاله باش ما حد يتزوج ...امك

A romantic man got married to a beduin (villigar) woman
He asked her to say a words of warmth.
"an oven" she said.
قاللك رومانسي تزوج بدوية...قاللها...قوليلي كلمة تشعرني بالدفء

A man has just opened his barber shop. A bold man comes in.
"What a start !" he exclaimed.
واحد فتح محل حلاق .... اول يوم فات واحد اصلع امام الحلاق....قال (صبح يا فتاح)

A young man saw a lovely girl in the a bus. He smiled at here. She did the same.
He winked at her. She did the same. So he asked her to disembark the next station.
As she did he took her seat.
واحد ركب باص شاف لوحدة شافتله ضحكلها ضحكتله غمزلها غمزتله قاللها انزلي المحطة الجاية.... نزلت...جلس في مكانها